The Zodiac Signs as Classic Thanksgiving Side Dishes
And no, you’re probably NOT green bean casserole. Sorry.
Sarah Burns · 9 days ago
We here at CAMP Astrology Labs have undertaken the thankless holiday task of determining which Thanksgiving side dish best matches each sign of the zodiac. We don’t care what your favorite side actually is, or what you think it would be, because about 90% of you would answer “green bean casserole,” and we’re sorry, but you just can’t all be green bean casserole. So pull up a few extra chairs, and give your family something new to argue about over the table this year with our Thanksgiving Side Dish Zodiac!
Aries: Pumpkin Pie
Haters will say it doesn’t count as a side, but no matter how you slice it, this Aries dish is an undisputed Thanksgiving favorite. A well-set pie is neat, sweet, and has just the right kick of cinnamon spice — and anyone who's ever gone in for a second or third slice has felt the ambition Aries is known for.
Taurus: Mashed Potatoes
The comfort food equivalent of pulling on a favorite cozy sweater, mashed potatoes (like the Taurus) make a dependable staple for any meal — and when done well, mashed potatoes still can feel like a fine luxury. Like any hardworking Taurus side dish, it takes some effort to mash ’em properly, but you can be sure they’ll be perfect by the time they hit the spotlight.
Gemini: Cornbread Stuffing
We’re willing to bet the first stuffing recipes were written by Geminis; their creativity and resourcefulness is all over this highly adaptable dish. The ingredients can seem a tad impulsive: apples and sausage? Toss ‘em in there. Onions, green peppers, and bacon? Sure, why not — cornbread stuffing tastes great no matter how it’s made! This highly intuitive classic comfort food is best seasoned with the heart, and not in cups and tablespoons.
Cancer: Mac and Cheese
The ultimate oven-baked comfort food. There's no surprises with this delicious Cancer dish, just golden breadcrumbs baked till brown and crispy — the perfect crunch to offset the melty, gooey goodness underneath. It’s a nurturing, feel-good side, and no one does cheesy better.
Leo: Scalloped Potatoes
At some point during the meal, there will be a table-passing mix-up and someone will utter the phrase: “Sorry I meant the other potatoes.” Leonine Scalloped Potatoes don’t mind being the “other potatoes," because they know there’s room for all, and it really isn’t even a competition — but if it was, this natural-born leader knows they’d totally win. Fashionably decked out in generous helpings of cheese, and thinly sliced, tender potatoes, Scalloped Potatoes is a side dish with the creativity and confidence to work that table runner like it’s a runway.
Virgo: Green Bean Casserole
If you’re a Virgo, you’re probably too modest to admit you guessed this one right from the jump. Everyone thinks they can be Green Bean Casserole, but this is one sensible, healthy-ish Thanksgiving meal staple that fits Virgo to a tee, right down to the precisely slivered almonds. It’s there every year, always supportive of the other sides, touting a picture-perfectionist ring of crispy onions — the most logical option for both texture and flavor.
Libra: Sweet Potatoes
Virgos and Capricorns will be quick to point out that this decadently indulgent “side dish” – dripping with marshmallows, brown sugar, and sometimes even maple syrup — belongs with the desserts and not the main sides. You won’t hear any argument from this peace-keeping Libra side; this charming sweet-talker has been making regular T-day table appearances since butter was considered a health food, and nearly everything could be made in a casserole dish. Why choose between sweet and savory when you can have a balance of both in one delicious comfort food?
Scorpio: Dinner Rolls
Rolls can be flaky, but not these Scorpio Dinner rolls; they’re a loyal, stoic, steadfast addition to any dinner table. Underneath that crispy exterior lies a tender, buttery goodness that speaks for itself. If you’re determined to finish every last bit on your plate, Scorpio Dinner Rolls have it all under control. Cunning and calculating, they wait shrewdly on the side of the plate for just the right moment to strike, pouncing on whatever’s left of the meal. No straggler is left behind — bits of turkey and stuffing easily become mini sandwiches, while gravy and cranberry sauce are sopped with ease.
Sagittarius: Roasted Acorn Squash
Roasted Sagittarius Acorn Squash is an unapologetically unique dish, unlike anything else on the table. It’s a risk taker, dripping with sweet, honest, simple flavors like butter and brown sugar. Sweet and savory doesn’t match everyone’s flavor profile, but this Sagittarius dish is an independent spirit, and it knows intuitively that despite any initial hesitation, there will be no leftovers. For the best experience with this side dish, don’t be shy — it might get a little messy, but dig in with passion!
Dry turkey? Potatoes less than creamy? Stuffing just needs more...stuff? As one of the most hardworking sides at the table, good old reliable Capricorn Gravy’s gotchoo. They have just one goal, and it's an ambitious one; to make all this delicious food even better. Just be careful not to spill, because those Capricorn Gravy stains are very stubborn!
Aquarius: Creamed Corn
Fluid, quirky Aquarius Creamed Corn is all about the bigger picture, and no Thanksgiving meal is complete without this devoted family-favorite side. Sweet nuggets of corn drenched with sweet cream and butter is a clever way to sneak some veggies into a meal — and even though this rebel dish just barely qualifies as a vegetable, it doesn’t mind being the underdog, and we appreciate its efforts, and optimism!
Pisces: Can-Shaped Cranberry Sauce
Devoted fans know they can’t possibly have a proper Thanksgiving meal without the Pisces Cranberry Sauce, but do you have any idea how much effort cranberry sauce takes to make? Who’s got time for all that for a side that maybe only half the table is going to eat? Stick with the always charming, store-bought favorite. It's a sweet, tart, tangy combo that brings out the best in every food it's paired with, and the can shape gives off some serious creative pop-art vibes. Pisces Cranberry Sauce also feels everything, wobbling with the vibrations of the table.
Birthday sweets AND holiday sweets? Lucky December kids get the best of both worlds!
Margo Gothelf · 5 days ago
Recipes that’ll feed the whole gang, without having to get up at 6am to cook.
Sarah Burns · 8 days ago
Celebrate the indigenous peoples of America with food, crafts, and books that honor the beauty and variety of Native American cultures and traditions.
Margo Gothelf · 26 days ago
Happy Diwali! Celebrate this special holiday with crafts, recipes, and light!
Margo Gothelf · 27 days ago