The maître d' leads you to the kitchen door, through the frantic clatter of pots and pans, and seats you at the best seat in the house. You order the classics: penne with red sauce, linguini with butter, ravioli hand-stuffed with spinach and cheese. A real stick-to-the-ribs kind of Italian meal. But when it arrives at the table, it’s all made of felt. It looked so real; you never would have figured it for an impasta! It’s okay though, the chefs are just kids. You know, bambini. Nobody needs to get whacked over this.